Drastic changes to Championship Moot awards after fellatio related confusion.
With registrations soon to close for the QUTLS Championship Moot, the new format has caused some muddled minds for those not familiar with moot award terminology. With prizes for categories such as Overall Winner, Best Written Submission, and Best Rookie Mooters, some have drawn issue with the prize for Best Oralist…
The problem came to the attention of those organising the event when a QUTLS committee member commented of the homophonic (read again) nature of the word. They went further to identify that it could lead participants astray in preparation for the moot, due to the sexual connotations of ‘oral’. With fears that the oral submissions might take a bit of a left-turn, it was proposed the term ‘best speaker’ be used to avoid confusion.
“But that’s just how you refer to a speaker that does the best in oral submissions! Who’s thinking we mean anything sexual???” the competition organiser retorted to the claim of ambiguity. “When has this ever been an issue?? I’m keeping the award as it is you grubs!” he continued, obviously in favour of some risqué moot court activity.
Despite this claim, heartbroken first time mooter Bill Johnson provided to us: “I finally thought it was my time to shine when I saw the awards they were giving out for the comp. But all dreams of glory were dashed when a mate with more mooting experience clarified things.” BJ was also sad to report to us that all the practice he’s done will likely go to waste.
Anyway, some people obviously have gawk gawk on the mind, so all we can ask of competitors is to keep their pants firmly on for now … at least for mooting
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To be in the running to be the Best Oralist, you’ve got to be registered for the Championship Moot. Registrations close this Friday at midnight: https://qutlawsociety.com/noticeboard
Written by Jaike Salmon
This satire piece first appeared on The George Street Journal on April 21st 2021