“the fool card, among us”

someone in my assignment group turns to me and asks

what would you change?

about the world? i wonder

about myself?

i go to say that i wish i could find platform shoes in my size,

or that i wish that shoe designs weren’t so gendered,

because imagine being a fresh young woman with small feet –

you could buy any shoes you wanted and no one would bat an eye.

what would you change? they say.

Sorry, i’m just thinking, i say.

which is a lie – i’m done thinking,

but the eyes on me from all angles have me losing my breath a bit

and i’m suddenly certain that my answer isn’t good enough,

so i start to think real hard about it.

what would you change?

i start to wonder if maybe this person’s actually a genie,

and if i really have a chance here to somehow make my life worth living.

But at the end of the day, there’s only one right answer, and we all know what it is.

world peace, i say.

I hear one of my group members laugh.

you’d change world peace?

i mean, like, i’d make world peace real, i say, when really i just want to say

fuck my life.

fuck my fucking life.

what would you change Anthony?

You haven’t even done your part of the slideshow,

and we only need to do one slide each.

I hear someone clear their throat,

what would you change about the assignment?

…

Oh…how do we feel about changing the font? i say.

Anthony says he likes the font.

This article appeared in the The Gavel #1 ‘The Among Us Issue’ (2021) Publication

Tongue Tied