“Wow this coke zero tastes an awful lot like disappointment.” proclaims student starting assignment too close to the deadline… again.
As always, Becky started 2021 with a bunch of great resolutions. You know the drill: start my assignments earlier, actually try meal prepping this year and head to the gym maybe three times a week.
Well, it’s September and the gym membership has been cancelled, and most of Becky’s income has gone straight into the pocket of the CEO of The Bagel Boys. But this semester Becky is doing corporate law. And you know what that means. It’s one of those LLH-for-honours, we actually might care about this one day kind of subjects.
So what did our Becky do when she found out the assignment came out on day 1, of week 1 of the semester? Well, Becky was there bright and early doing her coursework in O-week. She also saved, AND printed the assignment. And attended no less than seven weeks of tutorials while her will to live, and group of friends in the tutorial gradually dwindled.
So here we are now. Week 8, with a week until the deadline. Becky can confirm she has read, and highlighted no less than three important sentences in the task sheet. She has opened Halsbury’s Laws of Australia. She cracks open a cold can of her beloved Coke Zero. She wishes she had the caffeine tolerance of her twelve-year-old self. Back then Becky could stay up all night, heart pumping from the one Dare Iced Coffee she’d downed before Period 1 science class. Now, this measly red can brings her nothing but tooth decay.
Maybe it’s time, she thinks, to move to the dark side?
…
energy drinks
Written by Bella Busby
This satire piece first appeared on The George Street Journal on September 12th 2021