QUTLS now selling hazmat suits for when you can’t find a seat in the lawbry and have to sit in human filth in V Block
The Queensland University of Technology Law Society Inc. (QUTLS) boasts of one of the broadest selections of merchandising of all south east Queensland university faculty societies.
From hot first-year law chicks who drive Suzuki Swifts repping the QUT Law hoodie to the passionate environmental activists, whom even the Honourable Michael Kirby AC CMG would deem too left, with their blue-rubber-band Keep Cups, the merchandising is practical, comfortable and most of all, flex-ible.
But according to a recent survey of law students, the merchandising that QUTLS has on offer has plateaued. QUTLS takes constructive feedback very seriously and as a response to these survey results, has entered into the manufacturing phase of a never-seen-before item of merchandise.
In a press statement released earlier today on the official QUT Law Society – QUTLS Facebook page, the Society announced the exciting new addition to the store: a hazmat suit.
In the official statement, the Society acknowledged the needs of the modern Australian law student, and that the Society is committed to reflecting the evolving needs of their member base. For this reason, the Society announced the release of the QUT Law Hazmat Suit, for those busy times at the height of the semester when you can’t find a seat on either Level 5 or 6 in C Block and have to slum it in the regular library.
This highly anticipated announcement comes at that time of the semester when assignments have ramped up and suddenly every law student and his/her Macbook is now sitting in the law library. One would be lucky to get a spot at that strange old-fashioned Victorian-era table to the right of the librarian’s desk. The only option for any law student that arrives at uni later than 7:30am is to trudge over to V Block. Might as well get a 12oz skinny latte for the price of an 8oz one with your current L Card at Merlo before embarking on your walk of shame upstairs to sit among the common people.
The Society also referenced a hope that the suit would also encourage and facilitate law student assimilation into the wider realm of university student life. At the end of the day, procrastination finds victims in any faculty of any university.
Suits RRP for $95.48. Limited stocks and sizes available. HECS-HELP deferrable. Visit the shop to purchase.
Written by Ashton Darracott
This satire piece first appeared on The George Street Journal on September 14th 2019