Breaking: Being a Jerk on the Radio Now Qualifies As a Law Degree, QLS Confirms
Jaywalking on your way to admissions is a definite deal breaker but offending multiple sects of society on national radio is no problem for the QLS, who have backed Kyle ‘Scandalands’ as their leading arbitrator this year.
The new Trial by Kyle venture, a blatant and disturbing rip off of fan favourite Judge Judy, was announced last week and needless to say multiple white guys are pissed.
“Usually being a strapping white guy from Coorparoo is enough to get what I want but when it came to law I thought I at least needed a degree. But now this fat tosser’s making judgements left, right and centre who knows,” vented Jake Bristol (26).
In a recent press release representatives of Mr Sandilands wanted to clear up the rumours circulating that their client didn’t deserve this new position.
“Do you think it’s easy being the most hated Australian identity? Do you think just anyone can make a 12 year old girl cry on air? That takes smarts, dedication and a clear understanding of the word justice. Accordingly, our client is the perfect person to be making binding legal decisions.”
No word yet on who would be stupid enough to enter the Trial by Kyle courtroom but we’ll keep you posted.
This satire piece first appeared on The George Street Journal on February 24th 2019